Dear B-L-A-C-K

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Dear B-L-A-C-K

How can I count the ways, the different shades of color that BLACK represents? How amazing is it to look at BLACK and instantly think of assorted shades you come in. You have dark chocolate, milk chocolate, espresso, caramel, brown sugar, coffee, hot cocoa, I can go on and on. Isn’t it amazing how BLACK is often related to sweet treats and hot sensations? Why wouldn’t BLACK be compared to such deliciousness? It’s also remarkable how the same color that makes us feel so good could also stand for something else to other people, such things as dirt, tar, s&#*. I’ll stop there.

 I was once asked “Do you like being black?” I answered “NO” and they asked “Why?” I quickly answered, “because I get asked stupid questions like that.” Of course, I love the color of my skin. When I think of B-L-A-C-K I break it down to this: Beautiful. Luxurious. African. Cultured. Kween or Bold. Lavish. African. Cultured. King. Yes, I love YOU! You might not be pleasing to everyone but I love every shade, every misstep, and every hardship and struggle that is associated with you. You make us so different from others, and oh how I love being different from the rest of the world. It’s as if we are a box of chocolate, we are all like the same type of chocolate on the outside but on the inside, there is a different flavor. You ask me how different, I say afflictions of a black person. You ask me what do you like about the afflictions, I simply say where there is pain, there is growth.  I wanted to write you this letter to express my gratitude. There is so much more to you than what meets the eye. That’s why this will not be my last letter to you…let’s talk about somethings that wonder through my mind daily. Especially for a black woman. I want to express my COCOA POWER.

Love,

Angel Latrice

 

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Dear Momma

 

Dear Mo12376329_10156687890780263_7983776469066817209_nmma,

 

Annie Selena

 

It’s been 24 years since you’ve been gone. It doesn’t feel like it’s been that long at all. It almost feels like time stood still. I know that may sound crazy but that’s how it is for me. It’s amazing how I finally have the courage to write you this letter after these years, you must know I have a lot to say. First and foremost, I want to say thank you. Thank you for being my mother. I know I barely knew you but I’ve always felt your presence around me, meaning, you have never left me. Over the years, I have found myself thinking how it may have been if you were still living or what if breast cancer didn’t take you away from me. But then I would always have the same response “I don’t want to know.” I believe having you in my life, it would have been spectacular. I would imagine having a “girls brunch” on Saturday mornings, going on shopping sprees and coming home to hide them from dad so he wouldn’t see how much money we had spent.  But not only that, I would think you would have cherished me your wisdom educationally, teaching me wrong from right, and teaching me how to be a well put together lady. You see mom, I would have love to endure that but it wasn’t in Gods will. If I wouldn’t have lost you, I would not have grown the way God intended. To be perfectly honest, I don’t think you ever left me. I know you have never left me because you live within me. You left your presence here on earth that could never be filled. I was so angry with God for the longest as a child and growing older. I would often ask “why did you not allow me to have more time with her?” My brothers, my cousin, and my daddy had longer moments but I only was allowed five years, how is that fair? I was so jealous of them,mom. I had to listen to stories of your great personality and honorable work as a teacher and person. Yeah, I remember some things but I wanted more of your love, a mother’s love. At times, I thought you didn’t love me. I knew it couldn’t have been true because I have heard so many stories that sounded like overflowing love like, my birth, how you fought to have me even when the doctors said, “you might want to abort her because she will be born deformed or mentally retarded” you didn’t care because I was still your child and that’s why my name is angel-yeah dad told me that story. Or how about the time you entered me in a pageant when I was four and bought me so many things so that I would stand out and look beautiful on stage. I remember somethings. I guess I was greedy and wanted more but, I am grateful that you ARE my mother. I see you as a famous heroine the way people still admire you. Do you know how proud that makes me, to be your daughter? Well, mom I didn’t want to make this a long letter, I just can’t help it, I love you that much. I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to tell you this. You were and still everything I want to be. I often hear students you taught tell me “Your mom changed my life” I melt every time I hear those words. Thank you, mom, for always being with me in my heart and soul. Every time I look in the mirror, I am reminded that I am your daughter. I am honored. Your legacy still lives on and can’t be replaced. I wish this letter could make it to heaven. I’ll try to make it fly as high as far as possible. I love you.

 

Love, Angel Latrice

 

 P.S Happy Mother’s Day Mom, I’ll try to not cry as much or get jealous of mother daughter appearances.

 

Skin I’m In

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Dear, Skin I’m In

 

First and foremost, Thank you.

 

Thank you for being unique and different just to fit me. I’m glad God chose you to be a part of my humanity. It’s amazing how at first I couldn’t stand you. Your mahogany richness was never the problem but the condition you were in made me tremble at times. Eczema. I would sometimes cover you up in embarrassment because I wasn’t like others. Not only did I have to ponder about the attack ON my skin, but I constantly thought about the attack OF my skin. That was before I knew your true beauty. I wanted you to be lighter and have a better/clearer skin complexion. The way society speaks of your pigment makes me wonder. Why? Why would they talk about such grace of a color? I soon enough found out that your imperfections were the greatest gift that God could have ever granted me. I want to keep your scars, your dark spots, your imperfect skin.

 

Without You, I wouldn’t be this humble person I am today. Looking at you in the mirror daily makes me smile. Even during the times of break outs and flare ups, I still think you are beautiful. I guess it’s because I have matured, or maybe I even realized that your appearance is great. I just wanted to write you a love letter to express my true feelings toward you. I don’t express my love for you often, but I will tell you that at the end of the day, no matter what people say about you, I will always find acceptance in you. Thank you.

 

 

 

Love,

 

Angel Latrice

 

Thirty Questions for 30…

 

Dear Thirty,

Where has the time gone? You’re approaching soon and I don’t think I am ready for you or what to expect. Many of my friends have told me different things that they have experienced.  The Good, The Bad, and even the ugly. But for the most part, they have made thirty sound fun. For me, I feel that Thirty is the year for crossover and for great change. Different people have different testimonies, I just want to know what my experiences will be.  So instead of friends and family telling me what to expect, I came right to the source. Thirty? I have 30 questions but the age aint one17596583_843965039075331_8990119819072241664_n

 

1.       Where do I begin?

 

2.       Why are you considered Old?

 

3.       Will I be happier?

 

4.       Wiser?

 

5.       They call you the new 20, so am I getting older wanting to become younger?

 

6.       Party life…..or stay home?

 

7.       Of all the great ways you are celebrated, What could be my crazy but exciting celebration for a introvert like me?

 

8.       Will I be financially stable?

 

9.       Will I be fly like Beyoncé’? (Please)

 

10.   I’ve noticed that when it comes to turning the big Three-O, the only people that seem to see it as a big celebration is WOMEN. What is that about? ( Emotional Effect)

 

11.   Are you really considered or is it just our my imagination?

 

12.   Why do people give women the look when we say, “I’m almost thirty”? 

 

13.   Will I be “Flirty” or “Dirty 30”?

 

14.   I see you as a breakthrough age, where everything happens to thrive. Is that true?

 

15.   Is there a new beginning on the horizon?

 

16.   Maybe…Marriage?

 

17.   Or (I would think I would need a man first) New Love?

 

18.   Or just maybe contentment?

 

19.   Is motherhood in the  near future?

 

20.   Friends…How many of us have them.. Will I lose friendships because of growth within myself?

 

21.   Or Gain weight because of unnecessary baggage?

 

22.   Will My Spiritual attitude grow?

 

23.   Will you show my true self ?

 

24.   Do I accept my flaws of my 20s?

 

25.   Does my 20s behavior follow me in to my 30s?

 

26.   What beauty enhancements will I encounter?

 

27.   Now, do I get what my parents meant “you’ll understand when you get older”?

 

28.   Does the stupid B.S end. Or just begin?

 

29.   Am I too late for my dreams?

 

30.   …..Or will I live in my purpose?

 

 

 

I simply cant wait to turn thirty I feel like my 20s have prepared me for you. So I will take it in stride. Walk in you without looking back  because I am ready for the huge change you have in store  for me.

 

 

 

Love,

 

Angel Latrice

 

Mona Lisa Smile

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Dear Mona Lisa Smile,
You are my competitor. Your smile and grace captivates me in your breath taking portrait . Its not too soft but not to big and flashy. I love everything about you. The pose and style, the way your hair is styled perfectly, da Vinci did great work on you. But there is just one problem….Do you remember how I said you are my competitor? Well I meant it.
 Every once in a blue moon while walking, sitting, being human, I seemed to be approached by a man who always seem to notice my smile or may I say the lack of. The first thing they say is “Put a smile on your face pretty girl” or “You mad or something” but my all time favorite is(drum roll) “Smile Mona Lisa, smile you’re too pretty to be frowning”. If anything get on my nerves that would be it. Everyone wants me to be like you. What do I mean by that? If a man passes me by feels like I should have your effortless smile. In reality, Mona Lisa, I look like that  not to be mean or unapproachable…I have lot of things on my mind. Have men ever thought that maybe this is a powerful woman on the go who have fifteen million things to accomplish in a day? I’m not rude I’m just a woman walking in my purpose focusing on her next move. Ill smile at men, I smile in general but let me take care of my business please. So, Mona Lisa I admire you for your beauty and effortless poise but I cant always have your smile.
Love,
Angel Latrice